October 9, 2012

It's all too much

Sometimes parenting young children just seems impossible. And I don't feel like I've been doing very well lately. Just overwhelmed by everything.

My house shows the signs-it's pretty dirty.

Our meals have shown the signs-I haven't cooked much and we've had some less than fulfilling meals lately. I've realized that most mornings I don't even fully feed S. He grabs cheese sticks from the fridge, takes a few bites of cereal or whatever I'm eating, and maybe some fruit. Part of that is his fault, though. He won't eat while sitting down in the morning for the past few months, and I never know which foods will interest him each day. I just don't have the energy/desire to get him breakfasts that he won't eat.

I went back to work in the middle of August, and that's been great, but it also takes up a lot more of my time than I think it will. It also cuts us down to only one day a week when James and I are both off of work at the same time. And that day is Sunday so we have church and often family or other obligations.

We've all passed around a crazy cold that I've had for three weeks that keeps knocking me down at random times. That's the joy of the changing weather. I'm still SOOO thankful for a healthy family that just gets a few colds, flus and other normal things each year.

Annnnnd S is very much a two-and-a-half-year-old. I almost forgot how annoying/frustrating/challenging this age can be. I remembered the cute parts, and still enjoy those. He's learning new words all the time, learning to show affection more, showing more personality, learning letters and numbers and colors and all that stuff, etc. He makes the cutest faces-propped up with his chin in his hand to watch TV, laughing while playing with his brother. Purposeful hugs and kisses are so sweet after those early years before they know how to really show they love you.

But then there are the tantrums. And S is good at those. He cries, throws himself on the ground, throws things, hits, makes himself throw up sometimes. It's just so exhausting to go through those. Sometimes I'm not sure I have the wherewithal to fight his natural kid tendencies to misbehave for the next year or two. Two and three are such crazy ages. I'm sure I'll rally eventually, but it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

I have a couple of friends who have or are about to have their third kids. The idea of being pregnant and having another kid is completely terrifying to me. I wasn't sure if I would change my mind about having more children, but I don't think so. James is with me. No more babies! We're ready to have older kids who can do things themselves and with us, instead of what we have now: either following them around while they do what they want, or dragging them around while they act crazy while we do what we need to do.

K is definitely more into the easy, doing stuff with us phase. And I LOVE it! However, I don't want to just endure these times with young children, because I know everyone says they go so fast, and I'll miss it when it's gone, and it's such a special time, etc. But it is so overwhelming. And I think I will be glad when it has passed. In the mean time, I'm trying to do more than just stay afloat!


  1. Being a mom is rough some days isn't it? I completely relate to the fit throwing phase that S is in. Bean is back to throwing them ( I think its more a girl thing than an age issue) but she used to throw fits like S and regularly threw up as a result. I don't miss those days either. I also get the not wanting more kids. I get that pressure from my family asking when we intend to have more. I just flat out tell them that I would not be a good mother to any subsequent children. Although it seems never ending now S's phase will be over soon and no matter what anyone says you are a good mom even if you feel like you are falling short in a few places. No mom is perfect, gets it all done, and has it all together. Keep your head up.

  2. I feel I am in the same spot of life right now. The overwhelmed, busy, stretching and exhausting! The fit throwing and defiant behavior...I want to lock myself in my bedroom some days (lol). And there's hardly a day that goes by I don't experience a head-shaking moment at the realization we're going to be adding a third during this season of our lives. There is no exactly "perfect" season but if I were the one planning this circus I would have waited til at least one, if not both, my children were out of diapers and more independent, Mike was in a job where he doesn't travel so much, and our home was more dependable on where we are going to live. But the likeliness of having all that come first may not have ever been and God's more in control here than I could ever imagine. So breathe deep and trust, right? :)