February 8, 2013

Mommy Tourette's

My children (and I would assume most children) have both gone through what I call Mommy Tourette's. S is completely infected right now. K is past the worst, but still exhibiting the signs. This is an exhausting disease for any parent with ears. I suppose deaf parents don't experience it as badly, but the negative effects could definitely transcend hearing.

As a hearing parent, here is a day in the life with a child who has Mommy Tourette's:

6AM (or 5, or 7)-Child wakes. Thinking processes may or not be activated. Mouth works just fine.
Child [from bed or in parents' room, depending on age]: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, wake up.
Mom: Uh.
Child: Mommy. Mommy! Mommy, need drink. Mommy, wake up!
Mom: In a minute, Baby.
Child [good day]: Otay, Mommy. [goes to play alone or with sibling for a few minutes]
Child [bad day]: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Drink, Mommy! Thirsty, Mommy! Wake up, Mommy!
Mom [good day]: Ok, I'm up. Good morning. [gives child kiss and affectionate touch on the head. child doesn't acknowlege] I'll get your drink and some cereal. Why don't you play with your dinosaurs while I get it?
Mom [bad day]: Just a second! I'm tired. Stop pounding on my bed and give me a minute to get up! I have to go to the bathroom, so please wait for a second. Don't cry! I'll just be in the bathroom for one minute, then I promise I will get your drink. [child whines/cries outside bathroom door and until the second the drink is in hand.]

9AM Mom on computer, cleaning or getting ready in another room from child.
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes?
Child: [silence]
Mom [few moments later, louder]: Yes? What is it?
Child: [silence]
One minute later.
Child: Mommy! Mommy, look at me!!!
Mom [comes to child]: Yes?
Child: Mommy! Look at me!
Mom: You're playing with your cars? Nice!
Child: Mommy! [unintelligible babble with a few real words mixed in]
Mom: Wow!
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes?
Child: Play cars!
Mom: Yes, I see. I have to finish what I was doing now.
Child: Mommy!
Mom [turning back]: Yes, what is is?
Child: Mommy, look at me!
Mom: I SEE you, yes. Have fun playing.
Repeat 1-15 times

3PM Mom and child(ren) at library. Mom sits nearby kids at library play area, possibly trying to read herself, but not allowed to step more than five feet from children for various reasons and often expected to sit on the floor to play with puzzles, blocks or books, even though child is frustrated by Mom's playing or doesn't want any actual help.
Child: Mommy.
Mom: Yes?
Child: [babbles to self and toys]
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes? [waits a moment] Yes, child, what is it?
Child: Mommy! Mommy, puzzle!
Mom: Please don't yell in the library. We have to whisper.
Child: MOMMY!
Mom: SHHHH! What is it?
Child: I did it! Puzzle, Mommy!
Mom: I know, good job! Remember to be quiet in the library.
Child: [silence]
Mom walks six feet away to look at a book quickly. It's a risky move, but she's feeling a bit claustrophobic.
Child: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy, look at me!!!
Mom [from six feet away, trying to be quiet]: I see you, honey. I'm right here.
Child: Mommy.
Mom ignores this one.
Child: Mommy...Mommy. Mommy!
Mom: Yes? I'm right here. Don't yell.
Child: [silence]

Etcetera, infinity, ad nauseum, Groundhog Day.

And, scene.


  1. You make me feel better with posts like these. Some days I feel like I am the only one seeing these things. Thanks.

  2. I had pretty much the same experience with Simon at our library, he just doesn't get the idea of talking quiet in the library yet :) Mom