Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

February 20, 2013

Why kids are awesome

I think it's pretty clear that I am not a kids-complete-me, or "Being a mom is what I was born to do!" kind of mother. This is the hardest job I've ever had. Part of the reason (and the reason that I tell myself to feel better sometimes, but it is really true) is that I take the job very seriously. I know I have a huge responsibility to raise these little people and that is quite overwhelming. And often frustrating.

However, I also know that I can be a pessimist; often too much of a pessimist. Today I was thinking of all the reasons that is it is great to have children. This despite the fact that I found the TV remote laying in a plate of syrup, was woken up at 6:15am, and entered a living room and kids' room strewn with toys and games that were all put away last night. :)

1. They are a comfort.

  • Nothing is as pure and comforting on a rough day or in a rough moment than an unsolicited hug and kiss from a little person who loves you so completely.
2. They are hilarious.
  • The other day K told a joke that delighted Jim and I. "Robbers shouldn't disguise their houses as donuts. Because if they did the police would find them when they came to get donuts in the morning." And, because he's a kid and hilarious, he added, "Because police love donuts."
  • S is learning tons of new words but can't always pronounce them. Train is "frain", truck is "Fruck", camel is "cammamenal".  "I put the frain on the frain frack, Mommy! Look at me!" Never ending source of smiles.
3. They laugh. With their whole selves
  • When a child laughs, they give themselves over to it completely. And this makes me happy not just because they are laughing, but because I know they CAN give themselves to being so happy because they are loved, protected and supported by us. That can cover a multitude of issues.
4. They don't care about our faults
  • I can be mean, poor, sick, harsh, boring, etc. but I am loved just the same. That kind of unconditional love is unique. Spouses, friends, parents all offer versions of unconditional love, but it just isn't quite the same.
5. They are little copies of me and our families
  • S makes funny faces while watching TV, just like Jim does. K has the same toe shape that my sister does. S has the same eye shape as Jim, Jim's Dad, Jim's grandpa, etc. K draws all the time, just like my artist husband. It's cool to know that our family continues on like that.
6. Watching them learn
  • We get the job/privilege of teaching our kids so many things. Even if we didn't homeschool, we'd have the opportunity to watch these little, tiny babies learn about the world and how they fit into it as they become little kids, big kids, teenagers, and so on. It is such a cool feeling to see light bulbs turn on and joy in their faces as they discover new things or figure out something that has been hard to understand.

February 8, 2013

Mommy Tourette's

My children (and I would assume most children) have both gone through what I call Mommy Tourette's. S is completely infected right now. K is past the worst, but still exhibiting the signs. This is an exhausting disease for any parent with ears. I suppose deaf parents don't experience it as badly, but the negative effects could definitely transcend hearing.

As a hearing parent, here is a day in the life with a child who has Mommy Tourette's:

6AM (or 5, or 7)-Child wakes. Thinking processes may or not be activated. Mouth works just fine.
Child [from bed or in parents' room, depending on age]: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, wake up.
Mom: Uh.
Child: Mommy. Mommy! Mommy, need drink. Mommy, wake up!
Mom: In a minute, Baby.
Child [good day]: Otay, Mommy. [goes to play alone or with sibling for a few minutes]
Child [bad day]: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Drink, Mommy! Thirsty, Mommy! Wake up, Mommy!
Mom [good day]: Ok, I'm up. Good morning. [gives child kiss and affectionate touch on the head. child doesn't acknowlege] I'll get your drink and some cereal. Why don't you play with your dinosaurs while I get it?
Mom [bad day]: Just a second! I'm tired. Stop pounding on my bed and give me a minute to get up! I have to go to the bathroom, so please wait for a second. Don't cry! I'll just be in the bathroom for one minute, then I promise I will get your drink. [child whines/cries outside bathroom door and until the second the drink is in hand.]

9AM Mom on computer, cleaning or getting ready in another room from child.
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes?
Child: [silence]
Mom [few moments later, louder]: Yes? What is it?
Child: [silence]
One minute later.
Child: Mommy! Mommy, look at me!!!
Mom [comes to child]: Yes?
Child: Mommy! Look at me!
Mom: You're playing with your cars? Nice!
Child: Mommy! [unintelligible babble with a few real words mixed in]
Mom: Wow!
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes?
Child: Play cars!
Mom: Yes, I see. I have to finish what I was doing now.
Child: Mommy!
Mom [turning back]: Yes, what is is?
Child: Mommy, look at me!
Mom: I SEE you, yes. Have fun playing.
Repeat 1-15 times

3PM Mom and child(ren) at library. Mom sits nearby kids at library play area, possibly trying to read herself, but not allowed to step more than five feet from children for various reasons and often expected to sit on the floor to play with puzzles, blocks or books, even though child is frustrated by Mom's playing or doesn't want any actual help.
Child: Mommy.
Mom: Yes?
Child: [babbles to self and toys]
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes? [waits a moment] Yes, child, what is it?
Child: Mommy! Mommy, puzzle!
Mom: Please don't yell in the library. We have to whisper.
Child: MOMMY!
Mom: SHHHH! What is it?
Child: I did it! Puzzle, Mommy!
Mom: I know, good job! Remember to be quiet in the library.
Child: [silence]
Mom walks six feet away to look at a book quickly. It's a risky move, but she's feeling a bit claustrophobic.
Child: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy, look at me!!!
Mom [from six feet away, trying to be quiet]: I see you, honey. I'm right here.
Child: Mommy.
Mom ignores this one.
Child: Mommy...Mommy. Mommy!
Mom: Yes? I'm right here. Don't yell.
Child: [silence]

Etcetera, infinity, ad nauseum, Groundhog Day.

And, scene.

February 4, 2013

January review

When I look back at my pictures from the last couple of weeks, I realize that we actually are pretty fun and busy people. But, man, in the daily grind it feels like we never do anything special and everything is hard and frustrating. Maybe I should look through my pictures more often to keep some perspective! and maybe if I have some perspective, it will rub off on K so he will never whine about being bored. (Wishful thinking.)

Here is a little review in pictures of our last three weeks:


I had a box of cake mix, we wanted dessert. K asked me to make a Pikachu (from Pokemon) but that was too complicated. We settled on making a Pokeball by using a Bundt pan and I colored the frosting to sort of match (it's supposed to be red, black and white). It tasted good and was a fun little addition to our day.

We went to visit my best friend and her girls. She had the idea to make "gingerbread" houses.

It was mostly for eating purposes, not aesthetic.


Jim, the boys and I went to the free day at the Shedd Aquarium downtown one Sunday. The kids' first time there and our first time attempting a weekend free day. It was madness, and the kids were tired and whiny most of the time. We did get some cool moments though. Like S with Jim looking at the giant aquarium in the center of the building.

And K admiring his favorite thing-big turtles! They had one sea turtle (his most favorite) but he enjoyed the big river turtles too.


Tired S got a little ride/rest with Daddy.

Panoramic view outside the back entrance of the Shedd. Cool fountain/statue in foreground, Field Museum and a few buildings in background. Jim and K are on the left. It was freezing and windy, but we decided to get some pictures anyway.

In a VERY rare turn of events (he hates sleep), K fell asleep in the car on the way home. While eating chicken nuggets. Had to get a picture of that!


The first sticking snow we've had in over a year on January 25th. We made sure to get outside. Simon didn't even remember snow it's been so long!

S trying to make a snow angel like K did, but he couldn't quite figure it out.

Thankfully, he has a big brother to help show him the ropes. S called it a "baby angel".



K had his first eye doctor appointment and did well despite being nervous. We're doing a follow up visit today because there is a chance he might need glasses!

Every so often, K asks to have a tea party with me while S is napping. Last week we made cookies, K decorated the coffee table, we got out the fancy tea cups and played Uno while having our tea party.

I guess they don't have it too bad in life. Plenty of photographic evidence of our awesomeness.




January 23, 2013

A few notes on kid things

1. Dora can't sing. How is possible that there was no one who spoke spanish and sounded like a little girl but could also carry a tune that could be found and hired?!?

2. Kids are hard wired to do the exact opposite of whatever is needed or wanted. Case in point: we had to get up and out of the house early two days in a row and both boys slept in. Today we could finally stay home in the morning aaaaannnnnd they were both up at 5:45.

3. I need to learn how to make boys be more sympathetic, if that's possible. Sometimes I think they've decided I'm an enemy to vanquish ("I shot you, Mommy!" "Let's wrestle.", tickle or kissing fights that are more fight than anything else). Unless they've just gotten hurt for the billionth time or are waking up in the middle of the night.

4. I've decided to be more intentional with how I dress them. If I had a girl, I'd pay way more attention to putting her in cute outfits. I should put at least a little thought into it with a boy because looking good does matter. I don't want them to be embarrassed by their kid pictures later in life!

5. It is a very bad thing to be a person who doesn't like to play games raising young children. It's hard not to feel like I'm an awful mother for almost always declining to play video games, board games, etc. But then when I play all I want to do is throw them out the window and destroy the game because of how frustrating they are to play with! (It should be noted that I don't like to play games much with anyone. It's just intensified with my kids.)

6. I've stopped caring about cleaning their rooms. Except when I'm tripping over everything.

7. The sound of a singing child is pretty much the most adorable thing ever. K has never cared much for music, but S is really into it! He sings a lot and we love every second of it!


January 2, 2013

Sicker and sicker, part 2

After our very sick visit to Ohio, we were back home and hoping to feel before Christmas. It started with a trip to the doctor on Monday morning. I tried to rest for the morning, as much as you can with two sick kids to take care of. I got an afternoon appointment and the kids were asleep in the car as soon as we set out!




The pediatrician could tell I wasn't doing well either and did a test for influenza on all three of us. Surprise, surprise, we all had it. K had a little bit of a red ear also so he got an anti-biotic to ward off an ear infection. S and I were close to the window when you can take Tamiflu to reduce the duration of the flu so we got prescriptions for that. I got mine (and it was a bit expensive!) but all the pharmacies anywhere near us were out of the kids' version so S couldn't take his. It didn't do anything for me anyway and S cleared up much more quickly than K or I, so it wasn't a big deal that we didn't get his medicine.

I kept feeling worse instead of better so I got a natural flu medicine called Oscillococcinum that had worked really well for my sister. It didn't do anything for me though! By the Friday before Christmas, I was still feeling all the flu symptoms, barely sleeping, unable to breathe and then my eyes started feeling puffy. At the end of the day, they were all pink. So off to Immediate Care I went to get diagnosed with Pink Eye in both eyes! I got anti-biotic drops to attempt to deal with it and just hoped the kids wouldn't get it, despite the fact that they always share my drinks and food and are all over me! 



The next day, Saturday, my throat was killing me. And then I found white spots on it on Sunday, after we hosted a small family Christmas gathering that I insisted on having despite how we felt. I figured since I wasn't supposed to be contagious, we shouldn't miss out on the festivities. I felt awful the whole time, though and after I saw the spots on my tonsils, we all went out and spent an hour and a half at Immediate Care, only to not be able to be seen before closing. The next day was Monday, Christmas Eve. I tried to find a primary care doctor to see me (mine had left the practice so I was trying to find a new one) but most of the offices were closed for the holiday. Jim had the car and I had the kids and felt so tired and terrible. I resolved to just wait until Wednesday, after Christmas when things were back to normal with places.

But, my family was freaking out that if I had Strep Throat (which is usually what those white spots mean anyway) then it would turn into Scarlattina then Scarlet Fever if I waited even two days and I had to think about the poor kids. This was all from my overly dramatic sister trying to "help" me but not offering any actual help. My family doesn't realize then when they try to "fix" things or talk them to death it just puts more pressure on me. I know they love me and are trying to help, it just usually has the opposite effect when I'm already stressed or sick.

So anyway, the family pressure left me in the lovely position of walking two miles to the Immediate Care in 30 degree weather, pulling two sickish kids in the wagon so they wouldn't have to walk. It sucked. At least I got in to see the doctor relatively quickly and found out I had tonsillitis. Also not contagious! Small blessing. I got an antibiotic, even though all this stuff was viral. I think the doctors figure they'll just give you something to maybe help a bit. Jim called while I was waiting for the doctor to tell me that he was able to get off of work early to be with us and help me. So that saved me a long walk home, thankfully. Happy Christmas Eve to us.

Christmas Day was calm and just the four of us at home. I rested as much a possible but still felt awful. At least I got to see the kids open and enjoy their presents.



This big present was something K has wanted for two years and we finally got a good deal on it for both boys. I love seeing faces like these!
All my boys had fun playing while I watched from the couch.

Wednesday was taking K to the pediatrician, AGAIN, because he got the pink eye and white spots on the throat too. With eye drops for him and the fact that he was already on an anti-biotic, he at least started getting better quickly. His eyes never got too red or uncomfortable, thankfully! Mine was red, itchy, chapped and painful for over a week.

Thursday was another day of trying to get a little rest while home with the kids and still feeling terrible.  

I finally got into a primary care doctor on Friday. Jim took the day off an arranged for my mom to watch the kids so we could really rest. There was nothing the doctor could do for me. But they did tell me the different symptoms were a result of the influenza virus most likely. I guess I followed a pretty typical pattern with influenza. I was lucky I never had to hospitalized. A lot of people have this year because this is a really bad flu season. I've not been very pro flu shot, but after this year I might rethink that! My mom and dad had the shot this fall and both of them escaped this whole thing!

After my appointment, Jim and I went back to the house to nap. After the first real, uninterrupted sleep I'd had in weeks, I woke up feeling better rather than worse. I just rested all day Friday and all day Saturday. I was so thankful Jim was home to take care of things and that we didn't have any plans or things to do for the holidays to distract us/wear us out. Sunday I finally was well enough to go to church, but the rest of the day was spent on the couch. And by Monday, I could actually say I was FINALLY on the upswing! Pink eye is gone, throat is healing (I can sort of talk now) and the congestion is abating. Headache and body aches are more minor now, so that's a blessing. I'm resting more than usual still, but I feel human again!

S has been  back to normal for a while now and K is about normal too. Jim missed the whole thing and we're completely convinced it was a miracle that God provided because He knew we needed it! I don't even want to think about what it would have been like to have him out of commission at the same time. It was hard enough that he had to be gone at work so much of the time! Now I'm hoping that 2013 will be as sickness free as possible. At least for a while.

December 31, 2012

Sicker and sicker, part 1

The past month, the holiday season, has been one full of sickness in our house. Particularly for K and I, and most severely for me. Yay! Just kidding. It's been awful. I have not been sick like that since I was a kid.

About two weeks before Thanksgiving, we were getting ready to go to Ohio for the holiday and our family gatherings there. Five days before we were going to leave we got a call that Jim's grandmother (she was 96) had a brain aneurysm, was in hospice and we should come quickly to say our goodbyes. We packed for three days, and shortly after Jim got home we all headed out for Ohio (Stephen was still with us). We knew we wouldn't be able to miss all of the work days between then and Thanksgiving so that's why we packed light. Plus we wanted to pack quickly.

Well, the kids, Stephen and I ended up staying for nine days! Jim's Grammie was strong and held on for much longer than expected. We had plenty of time to say goodbye before she passed away the day before Thanksgiving. Since she wanted to be cremated, there was no hurry for for a funeral or anything so we had our Thanksgiving activities and then went home. It did allow for some fun time with cousins and getting/giving presents:




It was a loooooong time away from home for me, especially since Jim had to leave after the first couple of days. I decided to stay and help if I could and be around for all the stuff we had originally planned to be there for. But I was a single mom for about a week in someone else's very full house. I left quite exhausted.

Almost as soon as we got home, K, S and I got colds. We usually get sick right after our visits or while we are there. That makes it hard because we want to spend time with Jim's family but the sickness makes us a bit wary to go! So, the colds were a bother and caused me to miss some more work and other activities to take care if the kids (baby-sitters can't take care of sick kids and sick kids can't be out and about), but it wasn't debilitating.

The memorial service for Jim's Grammie was December 16th and we planned to go back for it and just spend one night at my in-laws'. K had been sick with a high fever and congestion for the week before, which had come right on the heels of the cold. High spiking fevers (the highest was 104.2!), lethargy, coughing, etc. I was always able to get the fevers down with medicine, lukewarm baths, and cool cloths. I was checking all the websites about when to see a doctor and doing what I could for him all week but it seemed he was still within the ranges of being able to take care of it at home. I'm always wary about going to the doctor. It was exhausting, of course, and I am not a very good nurse. It is not one of my strong points.

I was starting to feel some symptoms by the end of the week, too, but I usually power through and we didn't want to miss the memorial, so we headed out. The 15th we piled into the car with my mom, who wanted to support everyone and attend the service too. S was cranky on the car ride so I was pretty sure he was starting the same symptoms that K and I were going through. In hind sight, I should have stayed home with the kids because S was like this for most of the 3 1/2 hour trip.

 But, I made the wrong choice in going. I spent the whole night we were there feeling sicker and sicker. High fever, choking cough and congestion, body aches. S and K woke up many many times that night too because they were feverish and congested too. I never did sleep because I felt so awful.

Jim took care of the kids in the morning and my mom helped take care of them too. I had to stay at the house and sleep/rest while I fought a raging fever with chills. I was dizzy and miserable but finally got a little sleep. The kids went to the service with my mom and Jim but didn't feel well either. They probably shouldn't have been in public, but they couldn't stay home with me and no one else wanted to miss it. We went home that afternoon and I think it was the longest trip home we've ever had because we all just wanted to be in our own beds!

To be continued...

November 2, 2012

Bath rant

I think everyone knows that kids need a good deal of bathing. Between the diaper-area issues, food smeared all over, playing with everything they can find (especially dirty things), etc, kids need a good cleansing. Other than that, there are plenty of variants on when and how to bathe. Some kids get a bath nightly. In some households, the Dad does all the bath stuff. Some baths are quick, some are extended playtimes.

One thing I CANNOT stand is bath toys. Oh my goodness. Whoever came up with all those plastic toys full of holes (to make it squeak and squirt water!) and crevices is my sworn enemy. Within a week or two, anything made specifically for the bath is completely disgusting. Mold comes out when you squeeze the  toy, the suction cups get moldy, the whole thing gets a film on it, even the net or box you use to hold the toys gets gross.

Now, I know I'm not much of a cleaner, but I have tried with the bath stuff. I rub them down with anti-bacterial wipes, I squeeze the water out of the squeaky toys in the sink to try to get the stuff out, I've soaked them in vinegar. But they still just gross me out. I know what my kids do in the bath anyway.

And, AND the kids don't even LIKE the bath toys. It doesn't matter if they picked it out at the store, all excited (K with a Yo Gabba Gabba ship and characters) or if they got an elaborate bath play set for a birthday (S), they want to bring some other, non-bath toy into the tub with them. Never fails. The pile of "bath toys" sits in the box next to the tub (or gets dumped, whole sale, into the water then forgotten or thrown on the floor) and they bring a car or plastic bug or something into the water instead.

So, I've been slowly throwing away the bath toys. I'm done. I only bought one bath toy with my own money (the one for K). The rest were baby shower or birthday gifts. Other people seem to love bath toys. As the toys get moldy and hard to clean, I throw them away. The kids have yet to notice.

I know you can do that thing where you hot glue the openings to the squirty toys, but I don't feel like doing that either. And most of the toys were already in the water before I learned that tip. I don't like having the kids' stuff encroach into every area of the house anyway, so my goal is to do away with the bath toy box and they can just bring non-porous toys in and out as desired. No stash of toys cluttering the bath ledge.

Now I should start a campaign to show all new mothers that bath toys are an unnecessary expense and cause more harm than anything else. Maybe we can shut down the bath toy industry!

Then we can move on to the bath "art" toys. Not quite as disgusting as the toys, but just as annoying to deal with.

February 11, 2012

Mommy LoJack

For some reason (I blame the fact that he was an emergency c-section and spent the first four hours of his life away from me), K is overly attuned to everything about me. I can't even tell you how many times I have woken up early in the morning, amazed to find that the kids did not wake me up first, starting to fantasize about having a few minutes to myself, only to immediately (or within two minutes) hear the patter/stomp of K's feet heading to me. And he always heads straight to me in the morning. He rarely does anything else before coming to wake me up and never goes to James. As a baby, he never sat quietly in his crib. He woke up screaming and didn't stop until I was there and taking him out of that accursed crib!
[K and I taking a much needed nap shortly after he came home from the hospital.]

I've said that he has a Mommy LoJack on me. You know LoJack, right? It's an anti-theft device that is put into your car so that it can be tracked wherever it is. K has me Lojacked!
[Couch cuddling, when K was three.]

Sometimes it has been sweet. When I was pregnant with S, I would often wake up uncomfortable in the middle of the night. I'd have to get up to stretch or get food or whatever I had to do to try to relax and alleviate my aches and pains. Or I'd be up worrying about the birth or whatever else. So many of those nights (and maybe all, I can't remember) K would come out shortly after I did. He just knew I was up. His room wasn't right next to mine, I didn't have the TV on, and sometimes just had one dim light on. But it was like he could feel me being awake. He usually was very sweet and helpful at these times. He'd rub my back or feet, or help me stretch by sitting his thirty-something pound body on my back for counter pressure. Those times were nice.
[9 months pregnant with S.]

Just this week I had another funny Mommy LoJack encounter. Or, rather, James did. I came home from work when K was in a quiet time in his room because of a bad attitude. James didn't want K to know I was home and use it as an excuse to come out of his room or get himself all upset again in an attempt to gain sympathy or get out of his forced rest. So I came in very quietly, didn't say a word, and went straight to my room. James said one or two quiet sentences to me when I came in, but that was it.

As soon as I was in the room, K called to James (and James told me the following exchange).

K: "Daddy, is Mommy home?"
J: "No."
K: "Oh. Who were you talking to?"
J: "Simon."
K: "You used the same voice that you use for Mommy, though."
J: Laughing, "Oh! That's weird."
K: "Are you sure Mommy's not here? I thought I smelled her." [This cracked me up. He can SMELL my entrance!?!?!]
J: "No, she's not home yet."
K: "OK."

When his quiet time was done about 15 minutes later, he didn't question my being there or whether James had lied to him. But he certainly seemed to know right away that I was home!

[On the ferry to Vinalhaven Island, Maine, August 2011.]



January 3, 2012

The trouble with children

When there are kids involved in your life, everything is not just a little harder, it's a LOT harder. When you go out to run errands it doesn't take twice as long, it takes FIVE times as long. I only have two children, but I have to imagine that as you add children you add at least three times the difficulty per additional child. I plan not to test this theory, however. :)

Today was a perfect example of the upped difficulty level. And we were home all day!

It started at 6am with K waking me up to tell me he and his bed were wet. He is a bed-wetter, which is SO annoying (tons of laundry, grossness factor, inconvenient timing). But I don't chastise him for it since I was one too. And it's hereditary. So technically it's my fault. I do get upset with him because he puts up a huge fight if I ask him to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and only recently has consented to even go before he goes to sleep without a huge fight. I'm careful not to blame him, but make him see the need to deal with this issue. So far, not much is happening. Nothing is easy with this boy!

But anyway...

So I was woken up early, had to change K's clothes and bedding and get him tucked back in. Half an hour later, he came in asking for his bear, which he usually sleeps with and couldn't find (and later discovered was in the laundry basket with his sheets). Jim took care of that one since he had to get ready for work anyway.

Another half an hour later, when I was still very groggy, K came back in the room to tell me firmly that it was 7am (the earliest he is allowed to get out of bed) and he wanted breakfast. I was not a happy or gracious mother while getting him his food. I hate mornings and yet have to put forth tons of effort each day to take care of my family and try not to bite their heads off. I don't yell or lash out, but I guess I still need to work on not resenting them.

The next fun part of the day was when I decided to workout. I need to get back into a routine to stay healthy and in shape, so I've started making more of an effort after slacking these past few months. Kids make this endeavor three times as hard! K actually played in his room most of the time (miracle!) and only came out to ask questions and bother S, but S was with me the whole time. My half hour workout took about an hour, with him crying, sitting on me, stepping in front of me, turning off the TV, stealing my hand weights, pushing me, etc. Sigh. I guess it ups the difficulty level, but when he renders it impossible for me to really move, then I'm not getting much benefit.

Later I tried to do the dishes. K wanted to help, but today I just wasn't up to his "help". I just wanted to be done. While working on this chore, however, S took all the recyclables out and threw them around the kitchen, took clean dishes (plastic) from the side table and threw those around, got between me and the cabinets to try to push me away from it, stood on my feet to try to make me pay attention to him, took my hand multiple times to take me places, asked for every kind of food he could see ("na-na?", "bread?") and so on.

Add to this that every time the kids DO leave me alone, they are usually employed with wrecking whatever room they are in. So one chore is done (yay, clean kitchen!) and two other rooms are destroyed ("Why did you take out every car you have and just leave them all over the living room?").

No wonder all I want to do once they are in bed is lay on the couch!

December 22, 2011

Pyogenic Granuloma

Even though this is a bit out of date, I wanted to post about S's latest health "issue". Kids have a way of helping you find out all about weird things you've never heard of or thought of before!

In August, S developed a little red spot on his right cheek, near his eye. You can just barely see it on the left side in this picture, taken August 6th. That little spot on the apple of his cheek. It was red, round and flat against his skin, not raised.

This was not too long after he began walking and was always running into stuff, falling, etc. Here is another shot, taken one week later, after he had fallen A LOT when we were in Maine, to demonstrate his pitiful state, and show the spot again. All that walking on uneven surfaces didn't work out for him. Poor kid. But you can see that the spot is still pretty small. I just thought that maybe he had spent too much time in the sun. Baby skin is sensitive, and we're pretty white anyway, so it was a definite possibility. So, I thought it best to wait and see if it would fade.









It stayed small for quite a while. By October first, it was a little larger, but not much. Here is another picture, for reference:
Another month went by and it was still growing slowly. People started to ask what was on his face. I was still reluctant to take him to the doctor. I've had far too many experiences at the doctor when other people have freaked out and I've gone down that "what if this is one of those things that is really serious and can only be caught early" thought road, but then when I see the doctor, they tell me it's nothing. So I waste lots of time, go through extra effort (that is usually tough on the kids in some way, because they've been cooped up in an office for over an hour, sometimes in a state of undress, waiting to be told to just go home and wait it out), spend money for the co-pay and get nothing in return. Anyway, I wanted to avoid that.

By November 18th, more than three months after the spot first appeared, it was getting a lot bigger.
You can kind of see it here. The spot was raised from the skin, red and kind of an imperfectly shaped circle. It looked like a red mole. Once it got to this point, I knew we should go in to the doctor. I would touch the spot to see how it felt or if it hurt S at all, but he never had any reaction. The spot was soft and fleshy and didn't seem like it had any fluid in it. But by this point I was ready to see the doctor about it. A growth that keeps getting bigger on the face of my 19-month-old was not a good thing!

Of course, this was the week before Thanksgiving and everything was crazy. We were preparing to leave for Ohio to visit family for a week, so I planned to get an appointment when we got home. I waited too long, however.

While in Ohio, the spot started getting larger and looking strained, like it was growing too fast and filling up. On Thanksgiving Day (naturally) I was cleaning S's face after he ate dessert and saw what looked like chocolate on the spot. I wiped it a little more and it started pouring blood! Not a fun thing to see on your baby! We rushed him to the bathroom, cleaned him up and fashioned a bandage to stop the bleeding and keep it covered. Takes a little finagling to make grown up gauze and tape fit a tiny face without getting in his eyes, covering his nose or getting too close to his mouth. Daddy held him while we opened presents (we do Christmas with my sister-in-law's family then since that's when we're all together) and S was pretty worn out and quiet for a while. He cried about the cleaning and bandaging, but I think it was mostly because he didn't want to be restrained and didn't quite understand.
By that night, the bleeding had already stopped and S had taken off the bandage. He had a scab at the bottom of the spot, where it had opened up, but there was still a pronounced bump remaining.
It was fine all day, but that night when I took his shirt off to change him into pajamas, it started bleeding again. We re-bandaged it with a band-aid and he left it on until the middle of the night. I put a new one on in the morning, to protect it, and all was fine until he woke up from his nap in the afternoon. I came in to get him when he was crying to find S covered in blood! Face, hair, hands, clothes, bed, etc. Another terrible site for a mother's eyes! Cleaned him up and kept him bandaged non-stop after that. It wasn't as easy to stop the bleeding anymore, but it was OK while covered. The bloody nap scene was repeated the next day, but thankfully that was also the day we were going back home.

I called the pediatrician in the car and got an appointment for the next morning. Had to find a baby-sitter for K next, because he freaks out whenever something is happening to his brother. It's very sweet how much he cares about S, actually. The triage nurse thought it was something that was essentially a bundle of veins that break the surface of the skin, but I can't remember the name she gave it.

The pediatrician didn't seem to know what it was when he saw it and referred us to a plastic surgeon. Because it was on S's face, they wanted someone with very specific skills to take care of it. We saw him that night and finally got a diagnosis: pyogenic granuloma. It is caused by some kind of injury, either surface or something that pierced the skin. Then the blood begins to pool in the area and increases. This is his face right after taking the bandage off to show the surgeon (on November 29, if you are keeping track of the timeline):


It had finally stopped bleeding (we had to keep changing the bandage and using a lot of gauze for two days before). You can see it was still raised, but this was honestly about 1/3 the size it was before it broke! The plastic surgeon had to shoot novocaine into S's cheek (definitely the worst part for S) to numb it. I held his body down, the nurse held his head, and the surgeon then cut the bump off with a scalpel and cauterized it with silver nitrate (which comes on a stick that looks like a large, gray tipped match). They put a band-aid on it and we were done!

S did so well with the whole thing! He cried, but didn't try to squirm away or really even fight against our restraint. I was so proud of him! He had also let the doctors and nurses remove and apply the bandages, look at his face and everything else that day with barely a peep. He had even left the bandages alone for most of the time we had them on over the few days. And this is a kid who won't leave a hat on for more than five seconds! God really protected him, and I think S figured out it was helping him to have the bandage. The doctor and nurse were impressed with him too and said he did better than most adults do! As soon as I lifted him up after the procedure, he calmed down and went back to normal. I was so thankful that he didn't seem too affected by the whole thing.

By December 3rd, he looked like this:
He had a little bruise near the area, and half of that redness is from the injection site for the novocaine.

Here is a shot from this past Sunday, when we went to the zoo:
Not a super close shot, but you can see that it is healing very well! We had the first follow up with the plastic surgeon, and the next (and last) one is January 12th. So far, so good.

From what I read online and what the doctor said, it is possible for something like this to happen again. At least now I know what it is and who to call. And, like my mom said, if your kids have to go through something medical, at least it was something pretty minor and fixable like this!

November 1, 2011

A fun little game

I did this little game on Facebook about a year and a half ago with K. I thought it would be fun to do it again now!


Ask your child(ren) to answer the questions and type their answers in.
Tag other moms with older kids who might have fun with this.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
 Be good.

2. What makes mom happy?
Doing nice things.

3. What makes mom sad?
I don't know.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
 By doing her funny teeth face.

5. What was your mom like as a child?
 She liked unicorns.

6. How old is your mom?
How old are you? I just don’t know.

7. How tall is your mom?
I don’t know. These are hard questions!

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
 Football.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
 Play with Simon and do funny things with Simon.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
 What does famous mean? I just can’t answer this one.

11. What is your mom really good at?
Taking care of us.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
 Taking very, very long walks.

13. What does your mom do for her job?
 Sending people letters.

14. What is your mom's favorite food
Olives. Candy.

15. What do you like about your mom?
How sweet you are. (Gives me a kiss.) And the soft of your cheeks.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
I don’t know. An old man.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
 Play games, play with each other, play with Simon.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
 The soft of our cheeks. We like candy just the same.

19. How are you and your mom different?
It’s because how my hair is and your hair is and how I don’t have glasses and you do and you have holes in your ears and I don’t.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
It’s because I’m your son.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Um, like, because he’s your husband.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? 
 You like to go to your stores you want to go to. Starbucks.

October 18, 2011

The Home School Thing

I mentioned earlier in the year our consideration of home schooling for K this year. A lot went into our decision and it was not an easy one! While I can be a pretty confident person, I also feel very uneasy about mothering (which I know is pretty common, or even universal, for most moms). There is so much to think about and worry about! Vaccinate or not? Protect or let them figure it out? Teach but also show. Give them space and say in life without letting them rule your life and getting entitled. And then there are all the things that you want to add in to give them a well rounded life that also reflects your personal beliefs. So you add sports and church and family events and cultural events and life lessons, etc, infinity. No wonder I always feel overwhelmed!

But to narrow in on one decision: the school thing. I wanted to visit the local public school before making my final choice, just so I knew what the alternative was and what to expect should any special circumstance arise that required K to go to school this year. The parents' open house was very informative. I liked the teachers and the facilities. They did a thorough job of telling and showing us what they were going to do with the kids. It seems like a very strong academic program. I didn't leave with any specific bad feelings and even felt they could do a very good job of teaching my son.

However, I did have some specific problems in terms of how well my child would fit there. First, the school day is eight hours long. For kindergarten. Apparently this is a new normal. It makes sense in a world where most kids have already spent the previous 4-5 years of their lives in daycare and/or preschool. But K has not been away from me for that long before. It sounds appealing, to be honest, to have a long break like that, but it would be VERY tough for him, and for me. Spending most of our time together to spending most days in school would be a major transition, one I wasn't sure he was ready for on multiple levels. Second, the academic aspect is a bit too restrictive. They expect kids to be reading by the time they are done with the year and they have a couple of standardized tests they are required to do for the year. For kindergarten. I'm all for high standards, but not that type of standard for children who, at that age, vary WIDELY in their abilities and readiness. Those were my main technical concerns.

My other motivating factors are social and emotional, and those two go together. K would be described as a social boy. He talks constantly, is always making new friends and wanting new friends. He loves new places and experiences and information. But he's also a bit of a mama's boy. As much as I don't want that, it's true. He's careful and nervous about doing new things, especially if he doesn't understand it and he has to do it without me to explain or ease him into it. His initial reaction to many things is fear and he hates going into things without knowing what is going to happen. He's making progress since he's done two years of swim lessons, junior farmers class, rugrats football, and more recently Tae Kwon Do, but he is very much still in the learning process.

When a kid goes to school, they are exposed to many new people all at once. And while socializing is a good thing in many ways, and a natural part of the maturation process, not all socialization is good. K is a very sensitive and intuitive kid. He has a lot of innocence left, in part because the way we live protects his age appropriate innocence. He doesn't watch adult shows, doesn't know what swearing is (I'm sure he's heard words once or twice, but has yet to repeat or call attention to it), he doesn't see or hear the news very often, and is in the dark on a few issues about people and the world that are better learned later in life. Now, there are many other kids whose parents have protected them as best they can from these kinds of things and who are great friends for him. But I do not feel at all confident that it would be the case with the majority of students in his school. In other words, I think K's innocence would be eroded too quickly by his classmates. Not completely because of willful desire by one child to hurt another kid (but there is always that possibility) but just a very different lifestyle. If we lived in a different place, I might make a different decision. Not sure.

In many ways, I think the decision to home school has very, very little to do with how "smart" the parents are. I have an education and love to learn, but I'm not a teacher. I haven't studied child psychology, teaching methods, etc. But I know my child. And I can learn. I want to teach K to love learning too. By showing him that all of life is learning, that "school" is not restricted to one building or one kind of book or one kind of person, he will hopefully embrace knowledge with open arms in whatever situations he finds himself in.

As for my part, I know that I am capable of teaching him. I do it every day without even trying, because he watches everything I do and asks a lot of questions. I feel confident about teaching the more "specific" stuff for this age because he's only 5. I know my letters, numbers, words, shapes, basic math, basic science. I can read, plan, look up and research. For now, I know that I can teach him all he needs to know and more, with maybe a few differences from what a school would show him, but still a pretty good education. I can help him slowly build more focus and ability to sit still, hopefully without breaking his spirit. At the end of the year, I plan to evaluate how things have gone and whether to continue on next year. It will definitely be a one year at a time situation for us because I go through weekly feelings of inadequacy, wondering whether I'm doing well and whether this is best for him and whether I will make it out of this alive. Those feelings are fleeting because I do know that this is best for us, I just don't always feel it is best.

I'll continue posting about this topic because it is quite multifaceted. And I think a lot about it!

June 21, 2011

Kid's stuff

We are hardly a cutting edge type of family, but any family with kids ends up trying new and old toys. We've gotten some new stuff lately that has been a big hit.

K really likes Angry Birds, the iPhone game. He's used his allowance money to buy more games, once he finished the first version. He's really good at it, too! They sell plush Angry Birds online and then I saw an add for Build-A-Bear that they now sell them. So, I decided to buy two as K's birthday practice. When we got to the store, though, the toys were a small version and they cost $12. Thankfully we had been to Toys R Us right before that and saw they had Angry Birds also. And they were cheaper! So I got one of the pigs (the "bad" guys) at Build-A-Bear with my coupon but then went back to Toys R Us to buy the birds. The toys are really fun, they even make the same noises from the game! K is quite pleased with them.

Last week, K had saved up enough of his allowance money to buy a new Angry Bird. We went back to Toys R Us only to find out they had run out-the problem with liking something so popular! In a place with so many toys and games, it was inevitable that he would find something else to spend his money on. And what he found ended up being pretty cool. It's called Aqua Sand. It comes in an odd shaped tube and the sand is brightly colored. You squeeze the tube into a bowl (clear so you can see it) and it stacked on itself to make cool shapes. It can even go from the bottom to the top of the water, and looks like a stalagmite.  The fun part is that the sand does not get wet. You scoop it out of the water with a special shovel and you can watch the water bead up on top of the sand. It's really cool! The only downside is that it takes a long time to put the sand back into the bottles. Especially since my kid wanted to empty out both full bottles of sand into the bowl at the same time!

You can buy a sort of playset for the Aqua Sand that wouldn't hold all the sand at the same time, so that might make it easier. And it would be nice to have something like that for K to set up and then play with, instead of seeing pouring out the sand as the only fun part. Maybe he'll save up for that part.

June 1, 2011

A pirate birthday

 Three weeks after S's party, it was K's turn! He asked for a pirate theme this year (last year was Cars). Since I had already decided on the nautical theme for S's party, I figured I could reuse a few things, and I did! It also was extremely helpful that pirates are REALLY in right now. I had no trouble finding things for the party. Even the dollar store had a great collection of pirate themed stuff!

This banner is from the Dollar Store.

I started with a treasure hunt, of course! I found paper treasure chests at the Dollar Store. I filled them with chocolate gold coins, ring pops, pirate pops I found at Toys R Us and a few other toys and candies. My mom found a few things at a garage sale (Jolly Roger bouncy balls and handkerchieves, etc) that we added. The Dollar Store also had an oversized pirate coloring book that came in handy. One of the pages was a treasure map, so K and I colored it and I gave it to him, rolled up and tied with ribbon, at the beginning of the party so the kids could "use" it to hunt. I also told them that the treasure hunt was their way to earn their status as pirates.



The boys with their treasure!



 This is what they earned: swords and eye patches (both from Target's pirate party favor collection) and paper hats (from the Dollar Store). K looks pretty pirate-y, right?


Can't have fun without a sword fight!


I reused the tin buckets from the nautical party for a decoration. I filled it with the blue paper strips and put a pirate ship toy that K has in it.

 I forgot to take a picture of the fence near the road, but I hung the red and white striped banner from S's party on the fence, along with a pirate flag banner from Target to show where the party was happening.


 We were able to have this party outside in our backyard. Our landlord has a picnic table and umbrella out there that the four apartments share and it is great! I got a pirate table cloth, cups, plates and napkins from Target. I just bought two of each and then mixed them with red and black plates, cups and napkins from the Dollar Store so I didn't have to spend as much.



K's cake request was very specific: a pirate ship and a pirate's face on the top, half chocolate, half yellow cake inside. I called around to price out the cake and it was $50 or higher! So I made the cake myself (and stayed up until 2am the night before the party because I was so busy and procrastinated so long!) and enlisted my artist husband to frost it. He came up with a great idea and had no trouble executing it, as you can see! We were all very pleased with it!

We played pin the eye patch on the pirate. I colored the picture (from that Dollar Store coloring book) and hung it on K's easel. Double stick tape on the back of the kids' eye patches made them stick to the paper for the "pinning". They enjoyed it so much they each went twice!


Happy birthday to my wonderful 5-year-old! He had a lot of fun at the party, and I think everyone else did, too. I was glad to give this to him, but I'm also really glad there are no more birthday parties for a long time!

May 30, 2011

A Nautical First Birthday Party

I'm over a month behind schedule, but I thought it was time to get some info on here about my boys' birthdays. S's was in April and it was a milestone since he turned one! When K turned one we were living in Colorado and came back to celebrate his birthday with our families. We had the party at my grandma's house and didn't do much planning for it. I just had everyone bring a dish and got a cake with animals on it since that's what he liked. This time around I wanted to put more into it.

We live in our own place now, near family, so I could do more for S. I think I've said before that the domestic stuff doesn't really come naturally to me, but I do see the value in it. I want to show my boys love in this way and create fun memories, even if it is SO much more work. I asked a friend who always does great with parties how she does it and she suggested just figuring out something I like that would go with S's age and personality and then find things to fit into that theme.

So, I started with the invitation. I went to iPhoto (we're Mac users), picked a picture of S that I liked and then clicked on the link that shows all the invitations and cards you can have printed with your picture. I normally wouldn't spend this much on invitations, but I've had a ton of setbacks to getting pictures taken of S, so this way I could give family members something they could keep and it served the party function. The one I liked best was navy blue and red, so that suggested a nautical theme.

My husband has a graphic arts background, so he photoshopped in the cute sailor hat from a photo online. I liked the hat so much, I ended up buying it for S! [You can see it in the following photo, on the toy tugboat.] I came up with the wording on the invite, trying to be nautical, but used the font that came up standard. I was able to find the same font in Word so that's what I used to print out the envelops to send the invitations. (They look a bit blurry because I digitally erased the addresses so that no one can come to my house and steal my kids!) I used my husband again to help me size the anchor art work, which I also found online, to dress up the envelops a bit more, but I did most of this myself. I felt so proud and accomplished that I did all this!

Most of my decorating ideas came from this blog. I'm very grateful I found it, otherwise I wouldn't have done half the stuff I did! Though it did make it a bit more complicated to try to replicate something someone else did instead of just finding my own stuff. But it worked out pretty well.The other ideas I found from googling "nautical birthday party".

This is the dining room set up (it was too cold for us to have an outside party, like the one in the blog).

The red and white flags in the foreground I cut from fabric I found at the thrift store and attached to twine, then hung in the doorway. I spent a lot of time trying to find striped scrapbook paper for the flags, as suggested in the blog. But that stuff is expensive, and then I couldn't even find patterns I liked! The fabric was last minute but ended up being perfect!



Over the window I hung the party favors that doubled as decorations. I made them from red and navy card stock I bought at Target. I made them into cones, stapled them closed and hung them to more twine with clothespins (this idea was directly from the other blog I linked to). The party favors were Swedish Fish, goldfish crackers, goldfish pretzels and mint Lifesavers hard candies, wrapped in clear bags and tied with red and white ribbon.



The centerpiece I found last minute at Cracker Barrel, totally by surprise. They had a lake theme for decorations and I loved this little sailboat! It was only $14.99 and I figured I could use it as a decoration in S's room once the party was done. It was too cute to resist! I put shells, Twizzlers tied into bows (which kept breaking), Lifesavers and some blue shredded paper around the boat. The candle is a seaside scent. :)


I had netting from years ago and hung that on the bookshelf, along with a borrowed lighthouse from my mom.

I put snacks in red and blue sand pails: more goldfish and Swedish Fish, some other candy K got from an amazing parade haul earlier in the day. The blue sign says, "Shape up or Ship out! Violators will be flogged". It's from my dad's large personal collection of nautical/ship decor. I got red, white and blue cups, plates, silverware and napkins from the Dollar Store.I made the cupcakes (from a mix) and put blue food coloring in the (store bought) frosting to make it look like water. The flags I made from scrapbook paper (Have I mentioned how expensive scrapbook paper is? Yeesh!) and toothpicks. I found the little plastic anchors at the thrift store. Believe it or not, they were part of a VERY ugly jewelry making kit from the 90s. For 25 cents I got them and just stuck the part I liked into the cupcakes!


I did an informal Facebook poll to ask if people preferred cupcakes, cookie cake or cake and it was pretty even between the cupcakes and cookie cake, so I did both! I made the cupcakes and ordered the cookie from Jewel.I also got some saltwater taffy, to stick with the theme! And put it in a silver bucket from Michael's.

I didn't get any pictures of the rest of the food, but I kept with the nautical theme. I made fish sticks and fries (fish 'n chips), had salt and vinegar chips, regular chips, and macaroni shells and cheese. We had a fruit plate and vegetables and dip. We were definitely well fed!
For some reason, S wouldn't pick up his cupcake to eat it! He's usually not fussy about food or getting dirty. Thankfully, he has a big brother to feed him! Ha, ha!


 He was a fan of the frosting!

Opening presents. I wore a stripped shirt and shell necklace to go with the theme. I had a few family members who played along and wore stripes and sailor hats, or shirts with boats on them. It was so fun!

This was the best shot I could get of him with the sailor hat on! He's not a fan of hats. What I don't understand is why something that says, "I'm one" on it and is marketed for babies was so big on him. Oh, well. Not everything can work out the way you want it to!

As a side note, this party was planned for late April. Then K got the flu the Friday before the party. He was doing better on Saturday but I was worried that we'd be contagious so I had to cancel it! I was so disappointed! It was a good thing, though, because the rest of us got sick that weekend, too. We reschedule for two weeks later and then everyone was healthy!

[Sorry for the kind of crazy formatting. I'm still learning how to blog with pictures.]