Silly boy

We've been hit by sickness once again. Yuck. Fevers, aches, chills, congestion for K and Jim and I (though I wasn't hit very hard this time, thank GOD). S had a wonderful night of vomiting two nights ago, that I was lucky enough to be on duty for. I'm very thankful that this is the first all night stomach bug S has had in his almost three years of life. It's so hard to deal with when they are little because they don't understand what is going on and try to reject things like the bucket you place under them. I'm pretty sure he believed that if the bucket wasn't in front of his face, then he wouldn't throw up. So. Much. Laundry.

But anyway, in true kid fashion, S was pretty much back to normal the day after. He was chatting away, playing, etc. So we got to hear more of his hilarious comments and actions.

He was still a little out of it for the morning, so we were wondering how he'd feel after taking his nap. We heard the door handle and then out comes S, with his cowboy boots on. He got out of bed, grabbed his blanket and pacifier, and got his cowboy boots out of the closet to wear. Nothing cuter than that boy when he gets all dressed up with the accessories of his choice!

A little later he was playing with a cool toy set that my mom's friend gave to the boys. It has a castle, dragon, ogre, knights, the whole shebang. S loves the dragon and ogre and totes them all over the place. Funny thing is, he can't say either name. So when he's playing it comes out more like this, "Watch out fragon! The yogurt is gonna get you!". Or he'll burst out of the room and say, "Rarrr! I'm a yogurt!" No wonder most people have no idea what he's talking about!

That afternoon, another collision of cute and bad pronunciation came about when Jim was taking out the garbage. He put stuff in the back hallway and left the door to the apartment and to outside open. S walked past Jim and said, "By myself." Jim turned to see S standing by the backdoor with his cowboy boots on.

Then S said, "Dad! I'm gonna go make sandcastles in the snowman! By myself!"

Which means play in the snow. Because S calls all snow at all times "snowman". We can't stop him! No matter how many times we say snow he still says snowman. "You want to sled in the snow?" "Yeah, sled in the snowman!" I guess he decided since he had boots on (even if they were cowboy boots) he was all ready to play in the "snowman". Jim was able to convince him that it was too cold, especially without a coat or gloves.

I love this kid's sense of humor!

Mommy Tourette's

My children (and I would assume most children) have both gone through what I call Mommy Tourette's. S is completely infected right now. K is past the worst, but still exhibiting the signs. This is an exhausting disease for any parent with ears. I suppose deaf parents don't experience it as badly, but the negative effects could definitely transcend hearing.

As a hearing parent, here is a day in the life with a child who has Mommy Tourette's:

6AM (or 5, or 7)-Child wakes. Thinking processes may or not be activated. Mouth works just fine.
Child [from bed or in parents' room, depending on age]: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, wake up.
Mom: Uh.
Child: Mommy. Mommy! Mommy, need drink. Mommy, wake up!
Mom: In a minute, Baby.
Child [good day]: Otay, Mommy. [goes to play alone or with sibling for a few minutes]
Child [bad day]: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Drink, Mommy! Thirsty, Mommy! Wake up, Mommy!
Mom [good day]: Ok, I'm up. Good morning. [gives child kiss and affectionate touch on the head. child doesn't acknowlege] I'll get your drink and some cereal. Why don't you play with your dinosaurs while I get it?
Mom [bad day]: Just a second! I'm tired. Stop pounding on my bed and give me a minute to get up! I have to go to the bathroom, so please wait for a second. Don't cry! I'll just be in the bathroom for one minute, then I promise I will get your drink. [child whines/cries outside bathroom door and until the second the drink is in hand.]

9AM Mom on computer, cleaning or getting ready in another room from child.
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes?
Child: [silence]
Mom [few moments later, louder]: Yes? What is it?
Child: [silence]
One minute later.
Child: Mommy! Mommy, look at me!!!
Mom [comes to child]: Yes?
Child: Mommy! Look at me!
Mom: You're playing with your cars? Nice!
Child: Mommy! [unintelligible babble with a few real words mixed in]
Mom: Wow!
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes?
Child: Play cars!
Mom: Yes, I see. I have to finish what I was doing now.
Child: Mommy!
Mom [turning back]: Yes, what is is?
Child: Mommy, look at me!
Mom: I SEE you, yes. Have fun playing.
Repeat 1-15 times

3PM Mom and child(ren) at library. Mom sits nearby kids at library play area, possibly trying to read herself, but not allowed to step more than five feet from children for various reasons and often expected to sit on the floor to play with puzzles, blocks or books, even though child is frustrated by Mom's playing or doesn't want any actual help.
Child: Mommy.
Mom: Yes?
Child: [babbles to self and toys]
Child: Mommy!
Mom: Yes? [waits a moment] Yes, child, what is it?
Child: Mommy! Mommy, puzzle!
Mom: Please don't yell in the library. We have to whisper.
Child: MOMMY!
Mom: SHHHH! What is it?
Child: I did it! Puzzle, Mommy!
Mom: I know, good job! Remember to be quiet in the library.
Child: [silence]
Mom walks six feet away to look at a book quickly. It's a risky move, but she's feeling a bit claustrophobic.
Child: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy, look at me!!!
Mom [from six feet away, trying to be quiet]: I see you, honey. I'm right here.
Child: Mommy.
Mom ignores this one.
Child: Mommy...Mommy. Mommy!
Mom: Yes? I'm right here. Don't yell.
Child: [silence]

Etcetera, infinity, ad nauseum, Groundhog Day.

And, scene.

Bath rant

I think everyone knows that kids need a good deal of bathing. Between the diaper-area issues, food smeared all over, playing with everything they can find (especially dirty things), etc, kids need a good cleansing. Other than that, there are plenty of variants on when and how to bathe. Some kids get a bath nightly. In some households, the Dad does all the bath stuff. Some baths are quick, some are extended playtimes.

One thing I CANNOT stand is bath toys. Oh my goodness. Whoever came up with all those plastic toys full of holes (to make it squeak and squirt water!) and crevices is my sworn enemy. Within a week or two, anything made specifically for the bath is completely disgusting. Mold comes out when you squeeze the  toy, the suction cups get moldy, the whole thing gets a film on it, even the net or box you use to hold the toys gets gross.

Now, I know I'm not much of a cleaner, but I have tried with the bath stuff. I rub them down with anti-bacterial wipes, I squeeze the water out of the squeaky toys in the sink to try to get the stuff out, I've soaked them in vinegar. But they still just gross me out. I know what my kids do in the bath anyway.

And, AND the kids don't even LIKE the bath toys. It doesn't matter if they picked it out at the store, all excited (K with a Yo Gabba Gabba ship and characters) or if they got an elaborate bath play set for a birthday (S), they want to bring some other, non-bath toy into the tub with them. Never fails. The pile of "bath toys" sits in the box next to the tub (or gets dumped, whole sale, into the water then forgotten or thrown on the floor) and they bring a car or plastic bug or something into the water instead.

So, I've been slowly throwing away the bath toys. I'm done. I only bought one bath toy with my own money (the one for K). The rest were baby shower or birthday gifts. Other people seem to love bath toys. As the toys get moldy and hard to clean, I throw them away. The kids have yet to notice.

I know you can do that thing where you hot glue the openings to the squirty toys, but I don't feel like doing that either. And most of the toys were already in the water before I learned that tip. I don't like having the kids' stuff encroach into every area of the house anyway, so my goal is to do away with the bath toy box and they can just bring non-porous toys in and out as desired. No stash of toys cluttering the bath ledge.

Now I should start a campaign to show all new mothers that bath toys are an unnecessary expense and cause more harm than anything else. Maybe we can shut down the bath toy industry!

Then we can move on to the bath "art" toys. Not quite as disgusting as the toys, but just as annoying to deal with.